Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
