he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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