We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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