Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
