Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
