doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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