Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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