Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
