the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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