we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
