A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
