Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and she was petting her beer can
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
