So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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