i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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