Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
