Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
