Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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