he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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