So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
this is an emotional support booty call
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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