that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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