I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
