i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
