Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
