Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize