just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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