My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
