She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
