Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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