no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
