1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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