I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
