you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
