that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
