make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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