mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
