Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
