Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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