Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
