I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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