do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
