Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
