our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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