Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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