He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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