You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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