It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize