hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's always time for handjobs
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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