frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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