where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
