I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
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Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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