Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
