hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
