Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
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its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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