okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
