flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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