i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have tasted many bathrooms
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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