i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
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You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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