i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
