Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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